Losing it in Law School

My Blog Has Moved!

Hi everyone! I feel like it’s been forever! In the past few weeks I have gotten a ton more followers, which is strange since I haven’t been a very active tumblr in many months.

I have decided to move my blog back over to blogger. Please do me a favor and venture on over to http://losingitinlawschool.blogspot.com/ and start following me there! You can subscribe to my blog via Google Reader (or other readers) or just follow it. I have transferred all of my posts from tumblr over to blogger, so all the content is still there. It was actually a lot of fun reading through some of my posts from the beginning of my WLJ. 

I have now successfully lost 43 pounds on Weight Watchers. I am far from finished, but I feel so good about my progress! Here is a before/current picture (I’m about 3 pounds less now, but it’s still a good representation. My before picture is also from May 2010 because that’s the most recent picture I had of myself before I started my WLJ in June 2011).

Anyways, please be sure to check out my blog on blogger. I hope to be more active and update it more often as I complete law school and continue on my journey. <3

Sara

30 Day Challenge - Day 11

Woo! I’m actually posting for two consecutive days. 

Day 11 - What is your favorite “thinspiration” blog and why?

I’m going to be vain and say that my favorite thinspiration blog is my own. I find that having the opportunity to come and write about my feelings, my struggles, my thoughts and my goals is incredibly helpful for my WLJ. In the past, I have started and stopped a few blogs pertaining to my weight loss, and I feel that if I had been invested in those blogs as I am in this one, my WLJ might have been different and more successful. 

And now, a history of my “journies” with journals and blogs…When I was younger, I had a mini black binder that I used as a “journal.” I think I started writing in it in middle school. I wrote about everything - fights with my parents, fights with my friends, happy days, sad days, etc. I used that little black binder well into high school. It became a close friend when I started dating Darryl - especially since my parents were against our relationship and didn’t let us see each other for the first four months of it (that’s a whole other blog post - needless to say, we have been together for over seven and a half years and I’m pretty sure my parents like him more than me now..). A few years ago I stumbled on my little black binder - read it cover to cover, and then destroyed all the entries except for the final entry where I declared that I was finally writing about something happy and positive. At that moment, I decided that my past is my past and it lives in my memory. I didn’t need a little black binder full of negativity in my life, so I destroyed it.

I’ve always loved to write and I know I need to have a blog to keep me motivated, but I try (and I think I have been successful) to only write entries that are either entirely positive or, at the very least, end on a positive note. It is important to recognize the negative things, but it is even more important not to dwell on that negativity and, instead, to look for a positive solution or thought to end the post. It brings me back to my days working as a head resident assistant where we were constantly told to approach problems with the RAs that we supervised by using a “compliment sandwich.” Basically, this means opening the conversation with something positive that the RA does, then giving the criticism, and ending with a positive way to reach a solution and/or another positive aspect of their abilities. This way, the RA would know what needed work, but wouldn’t be left with a sour taste in his/her mouth. I feel like I need to approach my blog and my weight loss the same way. Constant negativity is not going to be effective for me.

In addition to my little black binder, I also had a live journal. That journal still lives in the interwebs, and every now and then I log on to see what my life was like during my early years of high school. It’s fun to laugh at the things that worried me and see how silly some of the things I did were. One of these days I will probably delete that journal and store those memories in a filing cabinet in my brain, just like I’ve stored that little black binder. 

I suck

I am not doing a good job keeping up with this 30 day challenge thing. 

I have, however, been doing VERY well with my weight loss. I am down almost 10 pounds and I am incredibly proud of myself because I have lost weight EVERY week - and it has been over 1 pound each time. This is the first time on WW since my first time in 2005 that I have been so consistently successful on the program. I need to stick with it, add some more exercise and continue losing the weight. I KNOW that I can do it this time!! I was thinking of quitting the 30 day challenge thing on here, but I’m no quitter - here’s day “10”

Day 10 - What is the hardest thing you have given up during this weight loss?

I really haven’t given anything up completely - that is the beauty of WW. Sure, I haven’t had Papa John’s pizza and I don’t buy Nutella anymore, but that’s because I have found other things that are more satisfying for the PointsPlus value of the aforementioned items. I feel that I am just making wiser decisions and snacking on fruits and veggies instead of a pint of ice cream. I’ve even started buying Snickers Ice Cream bars because they are only 1 P+ more than the very similar WW ice cream bars - it really all depends on choice and, as my WW leader says “Whatever works for me, for now.”

30 Day Challenge - Day 9

So, I have been slacking a little in keeping my blog up to date. This past week was really busy at work, and I just haven’t had a chance to come on here. Because of this, I’m just going to continue my 30 day challenge as if it is still day 9 (even though I missed a bunch in between).

Day 9 - Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

I could probably write a book on this, but I won’t. It all started back in elementary school when I wasn’t even that big - I wasn’t even overweight, but mean little boys began calling me mean names related to my weight. I think one of their favorite names for me was ”earthquake.” Honestly, I let it bother me for a long time but I can say that I’ve gotten over it. There was, however, an incident a few months ago that I have not gotten over. It will probably take a while for me to get past it, but it also continues to be a huge ‘motivation’ factor in my weight loss. I actually blogged about it on my WW blog and titled it “Sticks and Stones” - I’m just going to copy and paste it here:

“Ugh. Where do I even begin. I am a long time WW’er who was once extremely successful on this program and at my goal weight. Enter college, enter college drama, enter law school…I’ve been on and off WW for the past 6 years and right now I am at my highest weight ever.

It’s not hard for me to admit that, and it’s not hard for me to admit that the only person I have to blame is myself. It stings when I find myself having to buy larger clothing instead of smaller, bigger bras, etc. It stings that I no longer feel comfortable in my own body and I refuse to allow people to take pictures of me and I am just generally extremely unhappy. I have conversations with my mom about how I know what I need to do - and I do - I have all the tools, I know the program, and I know how to follow it. I’ve just had a hard time getting back on the wagon - after having such an easy time losing the first time I was on WW, I haven’t ever been able to achieve the same success.

After all this I don’t think I’ve ever had that ‘all time low’ feeling. I though I had, but I can honestly say that tonight was my all time low. 

My boyfriend is a hockey player and he’s injured right now but we still went to the game to support his team. Now, mind you, this is an adult men’s league (not the NHL ha). There were some fans for the other team that were being incredibly obnoxious and yelling and saying that the refs were blowing the game etc. etc. Then, one girl said something like “You’re a grown man shut your mouth” to one of the refs. So, of course I, against my better judgment, decided to say “Well, you’re a grown woman, so you’re just as bad as he is..” Maybe I brought it on myself and maybe I deserved it, but when she turned around and called me a fat ass, I think it was the worst feeling in the world.

So as my blog name suggests, I really can’t agree that words will never hurt me. I think that words are the most hurtful thing in the world, and I think I need to really start rethinking my goals and try to figure this out. I need to stop making excuses, I need to start following the plan instead of pretending, I need to go back to the meetings and I need to do it for myself and my integrity and to ensure that I don’t allow another stupid girl to make me feel like total and complete garbage.”

It’s been a few months since I wrote that post, and I can’t believe how different my world is now. I did go back to the meetings, I did get back on track and I have been more successful on the program now than I have been in 6 years. Granted, I still have a long way to go, but I have lost weight every week and I am following the plan, tracking points and feeling better about myself and my choices. So, Day 9, yes, people have made comments to me about my weight, but I am well on my way to changing that. Hey, maybe one day someone will tell me I look skinny…

30 Day Challenge - Days 7&8

Day 7 - Do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Yes, my parents and most people I talk to know that I am trying to lose weight. I have no shame in telling people that I want to slim down and be happier and healthier. I know that my parents care - they want me to be happy and healthy too. The first time I did Weight Watchers back in high school my mom actually did it with me. My parents are super supportive and I want to make them proud by slimming down to a healthy and more normal weight. 

Day 8 - Your Workout Routine.

I don’t have a workout routine. I’m still trying to get into the swing of things and I have been to the gym a few times but I still need to arrange a regular schedule. I know that exercise is an important part of my weight loss journey, so I’m hoping to get into a routine sometime very soon.